I am so happy for you on so many levels. I read your post and the smile on my face was simply huge. And of course I had to share the post...
A few things. Boys at that age, are starting, or will be soon, puberty. Boys are worse than girls in that regard. First they smell like old shoes. No matter what they do. Three showers a day and they still stink. It is a warning sign to parents...(you may want to let your GF know LOL)
Then they become emotional and angry. Their tones of voice, scuk, and they suddenly know everything in the world about everything even though they know nothing. They have the power to crazy make. For some reason boys really seem to have a hard time with the early transition into growing up. They want to but they also want to stay little boys. It is hard.
Went through it with my own and going through it again with BF's son now. Not sure how I survived the first time never mind what is going to happen now LOL.
Anyway, honey, don't kill yourself thinking and analyzing this.
I don't believe that you would try to replace their father but if you are going to be around as a permanent person, you will have a parental type role in that you will example set, you will have thoughts and opinions about what is best for their welfare.
One of our friends here hates the word step parent (although I know you are a long way from that right now). I tend to agree with him. As a child with two step parents that have been in my life for over 25 years, I don't have two parents and two step parents, I simply have four parents. And they are all as individual as can be. And to be honest, I don't have one child and BF has two. We have three kids.
Our biggest difficulty, has been/is working through different parenting styles.
My advice at this point, to you, is to make sure that you believe that you can deal with her having children. They will take time and attention from you. They will be priorities in her life (sometimes coming before you). They will eventually interrupt activities, sex, dinners, phone calls, etc...and you are gonna have to be ok with that. They bring a ton of joy too.
Ok, gonna catch you on the flip side
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
