Here's a couple of things I am concerned about in your stitch. One being that you believe moving out will solve the detachment problem. I'm not sure you understand the emotional detachment needed.
The second one is your sons. I don't think S7 will go with you. He's still his mamma's baby boy, and if you're having doubts that he's even your son....he will perceive feelings of rejection.
You haven't said that much about S12, but be prepared for his rebellion at some point.
You have depended upon your W to run the home to the point you haven't much clue on how to do it. Do you have babysitting arrangements made?
The only part I really agree on is getting out from under your MIL's financial control of your home. That's a trap for any man, no matter how loving & supportive his in-laws are. I hope any men reading this will see that if he's living in his in-laws house or if they are financing it, he won't have a place of his own if there is ever a split.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
