NRTS (Not Repairable at This Station) 2

[WenikiTiki]

So I had a busy few days. Some old friends are in town between assignments in Italy and Okinawa. We all were at the beach this evening. And I realized how much some of my friends mean to me. I was watching all the couples, and working on a list of what I really want in my next relationship.

Here is my list: Someone who is comfortable enough in their own skin to be comfortable with me. Someone who can hold a conversation. Someone who wants more out of life than something new on TV. And most of all someone who wants to hold my hand.

My STBXH left today for a two week trip to DC. And once again is working on that "Hall of Fame Lier" status. Show of hands here, how many of you believe the Pentagon will be doing budget talks on the 4th of July?

And I don't know why it matters, because I've said I'm done, I've tenatively started dating, and he is in charge of himself. But I guess it is just that he acts like we are going to be friends when this is all done. And it is plain that we are "Separated" in his world.

And what does his boss think? A guy who has steadfastly refused to travel for the past 7 years now jumps on every chance to go to DC. And it really just doesn't matter. Clearly he will be seeing OW, or maybe OW really is done with him and he has re-re-connected with the original OW from 2000.

And it isn't my business anymore. I get that. But I just want to be not living in the same house, not around him anymore. It is just too darn painful. He comes to me with the stupidest things. (Can he borrow a pill box for his vitamins?)

He grumbled because we were out of orange juice and he had to drink water for breakfast. (There is more than a 1/2 gallon of milk and apple AND grape juice.) This is honestly the first time in God-only-knows how many years I have not bought him OJ.

My oldest son saw me filling up my STBXH's water bottles I kep in the fridge for him. S27 was irritated and suggested I put food coloring in them so they were urine colored. I declined, but then went along with the secondary plan of using the neon food coloring and making a rainbow of colors in them.

To me it was funny, because as a child my oldest son was always sneeking food coloring into our food. Then S27 suggested I buy a bunch of wax bananas to put in the kitchen for his dad.

Many people post on here about letting children work out their own R with their MLC parent. Both sons have expressed their dissapointment is trying to do things with their dad and how he just wants to be alone. They feel they can talk to me about anything, but can't talk to thir dad at all.

Anyway it is way past my bedtime. When I got home my S22 was having a little party. So I decided to stay up a bit, because they were going to keep me awake anyway. I was happy to see S22 having fun.

When I said goodbye to STBXH today I gave him a hug. He pulled the one-arm half-hug on me and I told him to give me a better hug, as he might never see me again. Funny that I feel that way, but I do. Maybe I will stock up that boat and head to Fiji. What the heck!