@Rick No worries. I was never inclined to act out of pity and prop her up to the detriment of myself.
She is my XW. This was her choice. At no time did she work with me or anyone else to attempt a restoration of our relationship. At no time did she consider working with me to accomplish her goal in anything but an adversarial manner. The garden she is harvesting now is the one she planted and cultivated. She reaps what she sowed.
She is still angry. I am still blamed for the negatives in her life. Some of the logic is rather convoluted. She needs to grow and I need to stay out of the way for her to do so. She needs to face herself and realize she is causing her own angst, her own drama. In this case that means not stepping in and attempting rescue. To do so could be seen as taking ownership of her current issue with the timing of the distribution payment. This is not mine to fix, it never was. Frankly her reliance upon having the distribution in hand in time to meet her obligations is her poor decision making nothing more.
When we had a relationship we pooled resources and made joint decisions about how to conduct our lives. Good or bad they were our decisions and we were in it together for the long haul. Now we are not in a relationship. We are not working jointly for our betterment. In these circumstances I do not see working to better myself as selfish. I can feel pity for her when she experiences consequences of her poor decisions and do nothing further.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
