jks, it's Sunday. Are you alone? Are you doing okay?
Doing good, reachinghigher. How are you?
Yes, I am alone. I had plans to go to an Art's Festival with my SIL but she cancelled last minute because she felt like it was too hot outside. Kinda bummed because it would have been nice to get out but I've also been fine staying home.
H came to pick up the kids this afternoon and it was pretty much the same as always. I actually felt very pretty and I didn't think H looked that great... awful to say huh. Its just that when he shaves his face completely there's something about it that turns me off. I've always been attracted to scruff/facial hair.
It sounds so silly but when he started the police dept that was one of the first things that had to go. I was really bummed about it. He always had it, even in High School so it was a really weird adjustment and I've never really liked him without it. (Kind of petty, I know.) So within the last year, his job has been more lax on him having to shave because he works in a different dept.
This has bugged me so much because its like now that he's NOT with me, he gets to look amazing again for OW. Perfect. But, obviously, today was a different story. Helps me remember, once again, he's not perfect and there were things that turned me off about him. Every little bit helps, I guess. LOL!
I'm trying to remember that throughout this M I have not made things easy for H. I have not been easy to live with and easy to love. But he did stick by my side for a very long time. So I intend to do the same. I need to remember this. Even though he is making bad choices and they hurt me greatly, I know he has to go through this journey in order to find himself. I cannot give up just because its hard for me right now. (Although, I want to A LOT, sometimes.)
I can do hard things.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
