I thought if the OM was gone, everything would be fine. I detached/went dim/GAL just waiting it out. I believe OM is gone. SIL told me today at FIL birthday lunch that W and OM haven't done anything (dates) in over a week. Told me how the W is complaining about him. She told me that W feels "I am a problem solver, I care about her day when she talks about work and I always want to do things". W has to plan the events with OM. OM doesn't validate her. OM has no ambition.
Side note: I got a promotion at work that is $20,000 more a year. I now make 2x what I made one year ago and have nights and weekends off. If I had this job a year ago, would this have even happened with my M? I can't waste time dwelling on that and am just going to keep moving forward.
Then SIL said something that shocked me. She said that when this started she asked if W thought she and I would get back together. She said no. SIL says W is saying maybe now. I never thought W felt that way. I always believed it was just a matter of time. I think my GAL and 180s worked wonders.
Going dark didn't work at all for me this week. I ended up seeing and spending time with her every day. We even have plans to start taking dance lessons together.
Friday: Went to an event for S13. Afterwards we decided to meet out for a couple of drinks. It went well, but not as well as Wednesday. Just good conversation and time together. Rebuilding a friendship/relationship? We went to a bar that had dancing and she wanted to dance with me. (I suck at dancing).
Saturday: Went on my trip with a buddy (W cousin) but we decided to come back early and go out and watch the UFC fight. I sent W a text that I was going to watch it and she wanted to come.
Two of her other cousins were out that night and we decided to meet up with them (Me, W and W cousin). We had a great time. This time, she pulled me onto the dance floor many times and I did better.
Years ago when Dancing with the Stars first came out, we talked about taking lessons. It is something she has always wanted to do. I told her we should start taking lessons and she is very excited about that. We also made some plans for some out of town trips. In the past, she was adamant about separate beds, but now that isn't an issue. She used to always have to add "I am not having sex with you". Last night, she flirted with me about ML.
I don't want to Tommy Boy my sale here. I think we are making some progress but I gotta hold back. On the one hand, I think I have to make her miss me and come to me (but she does initiate a lot of our meet ups/dates). On the other hand, she has reminded me that it is my persistence that won her over the first time.
She brings up how it was when we first started dating a lot. Wasn't attracted to me (like now). How I won her over by just being me. She also has brought up how she did the wrong thing with the OM on multiple occasions. How she was wrong to do it, how it is a bad thing to do.
I am trying not to get too excited and trying not to have any expectations, but it is tough. Am I supposed to fan the flame or let the fire grow on its own?
For anyone doubting the benefits of GAL and 180, let me tell you that in my situation, it has been incredible. I am a happier person even when I suspect the W is with the OM. What the W does doesn't bother me like it used to.
M-40 W-33 D3, D4, SD13 T 9 YEARS M 5 YEARS ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012
