Josh's parents invited us to celebrate their 50th anniversary next month in Quebec. It is on a Monday so Josh and I booked flights (I paid for my own) from Sunday to Wednesday (he wanted to leave Tuesday but I asked to stay the extra day as I had never visited there and wanted to sightsee). His parents home is not big enough for all so his 2 sisters and their spouses and kids, along with us are renting a house. They will stay there all week.
SO...
Yesterday I received an email from his dad (to each of us). I had never received an email from him before. He says that their caterer cannot do the meal on the Monday so they're celebrating on Friday. So sorry that Josh and Barb will have left by then and miss out. (WTF????)
I asked Josh about it last night (containing my upset) and he said he would talk to his dad.
Tonight I got another email from his dad - with a detailed menu of the catered meal that we are going to miss. Then his sister replied all about how wonderful it sounded.
I replied all with "I understood we were celebrating the anniversary on Monday. Josh and I are flying out to attend from Sunday to Wednesday. It sounds delicious but I'm a bit confused".
Well, I'm more than confused. I'm outright MIFFED! I will be spending a couple hundred dollars a day to be there with the flight, car rental and house rental and we are being excluded from the anniversary dinner???
Last summer and the previous, his parents and siblings visited us at our home and we treated them like Royalty. One sister and family actually visited twice in the same month.
At Christmas I bought every single person a gift. I did not receive a single acknowledgment or a gift. In fact - his dad phoned me to tell me that he had mailed a gift for Josh - but could I wrap it and put it under the tree? And then a couple of days after Christmas he called to tell me the gift I bought Josh's Mom didn't work very well.
I LOVE Josh. But I'm not so sure about his family any more. And frankly - this just [censored].
Barb - would you go to the hardware store to buy oranges?
You are expecting his family to behave the way YOU would. But clearly, they are....well.....broken.
This probably explains why Josh loves you (what a welcome relief from his family!).
But remember, it never ever pays to come between him and his family.
So don't say ANYTHING negative, treat them as casual acquaintances (NO expectations), let Josh deal with it however he wants (he could pay to change your tickets if he really wanted to - but he probably is just as happy not to be at the dinner). Be polite, but drop any expectations you might have had of them becoming warm loving extended family. Anything you get beyond that is just gravy.
Well I'm out of here I have 8 campers to register from last night. Went to the funeral of a very good friend and high school classmates father.
Saw so many kids that have grown - up This couple ( she died 5 years ago ) had 55 years of marriage nine yes nine kids and cant count the grands and the greats
It felt good to see how a functioning healthy family behaves in the time of grief
OK old washing machine quit fridge is on its last leg and getting appliances for a new cabin ( ours ) at the camp Sears..is gonna love me hehe
Ellie: I agree. I was P Od at Christmas but knew if also bothered Josh so I let it go. Smiled and nodded. We had the best Christmas ever with the whole Fam Damily in matching pjs (all 19 of us) and Josh stayed with us for the first time ever. His twin sister told him the book she ordered him never arrived for his gift. Ummm - he still never got it and she pulled that a couple of years ago too. And, by the way - she does quite well financially (lawyer)
I just can't imagine inviting (and letting each of us know that it was expected) people then changing the date because you are such a snob that you want a certain caterer and nothing else will do.
Knowing Josh, he will probably foot the bill for an lovely dinner on the Monday but you can be SURE that I do not want to go. Of course I will. And I'll put on my "Barbie" face. But seriously - there is a good chance Ryan will be just getting out of the hospital a couple of days before (they're talking about releasing him for his birthday on the 18th) and I sure won't be wanting to leave.
My parents' 50th was 9 months before ex left. For probably less $ than that caterer will cost - my 3 siblings and I pooled our resources and threw a party for our parents at our church hall with hors doevers, cake and coffee. We gave them a couple of very personalized gifts - a photo quilt of memories and scrapbook of similar. We had letters from government, telegrams etc and Ashley (then 12) wrote a lovely poem and read to them. This was followed by an exquisite "family only" dinner out. It was lovely.
I guess I had higher hopes for his family. Expectations were out of whack again.
I regret responding to the email at all. I stewed about it all night. UGH!
That's what I was thinking. I'm recovering from another nightmare. I'm having so much fun with friends. I can't believe he is emailing me this crap. I don't want anyone raining on my parade!
Oh well - today I'm attending "FUN DAY" and we are making miniature chocolate shops. Hard to understand if you don't do minis but I am so excited! Yesterday I made a lovely Christmas room with all gold trim and a golden tree.
Had dinner with 12 friends from all parts of Florida and one was celebrating a birthday. It was HER birthday yet she insisted on buying each of us a drink and brought a lovely red velvet cake. It was wonderful. And of course - totally unexpected.
I talked to Josh last night and he had phoned his dad (and emailed me a brief note earlier in the day). Turns out his dad was talking about the meal for the big day when we would be there but had not been clear in his email. They're having a big meal on more than one day. Josh was all calm and wonderful as always. I just can't say what a great influence he is in my life. For years I lived with drama and chaos.
So it is sunny and wonderful at home but I'm driving into the storm today - my first hurricane (maybe). Also - there was a tornado just south of the condo yesterday.
I'm going to beat a hasty exit and get on the road as the rain is really bad. It's been going on for a while already. I'll take my time and be safe. I have plenty of crafts to work on during this long, rainy week.
And I'm meeting up with at least one of my DB pals tommorrow (possibly 3). We get together at least once a year. Friends from my "depths of despair" days. We've known each other over 10 years now. It feels so good to have so many friends here in Florida. I just feel so blessed.
Thanks Mish! I tried to reply a couple of days ago but I couldn't sign on???
Anyway - I drove through very heavy rain and my radio was interrupted several times with Emergency Broadcast warning me to "Get out of the path of the tornado!!!"
We've had 10 tornado touchdowns, high winds, torrential rain and flooding. Not the best time to visit Florida but I've kept myself busy with shopping and my crafts (which I love).
So Josh's dad just emailed me again. He wants to know if we should have the salad before entree or after (French style). Also what salad dressing to use??? It is all being handled by someone named Mml Lyne. Oh well - I'll leave it to Josh to reply. I'm afraid of putting my foot in my mouth - ruby slipper and all!
Interesting - I never told Chuck that I was away. He last emailed me 8 days ago asking how Ryan was. Gee - really sounds like he cares about him, no???
Ryan is doing well. Getting stronger and they just LOVE him. (I knew they would - who wouldn't? LOL)
Got a bit of work done here - had plumbers in to put in easy on/off water shutoff switches. I was unable to do it by myself but got that sorted out now. And tommorrow I'm finally getting drapes in the living room. I had bought some in the Fall but had some concerns and decided to find suitable blinds (which became nearly impossible). So I've ended up back with the original drapes and a new heavy duty curtain rod.
