Husband Filed for Divorce Today

[25yearsmlc]

OK...so stress management it is.

Sometimes when we stand back and look at what overwhelms us, we see that a number of these things can be ignored, or that we're making them far more difficult than they need to be. Sometimes we just agree to take too much on.

What you you do to manage stress better; to make things, or perceive things as, more manageable?

I'm glad your daughter is enjoying her aunt, and that you're focused on something else. Stepping away works wonders.

I have never really learned how to manage my stress. I think that is a very big problem with me. It's like I shut down and stop acting and doing. I tend to overthink things.

I'm so glad you see this. So NOW, what are you going to DO to address this?


See, with or without your h this is a life skill, a tool that really is mandatory for healthy living (b/c life is filled with stresses 24/7 if you choose to see it that way

and even for optimists, curve balls do come our way throughout our lives...)

So learning to cope w/stress is mandatory for you to be a good partner AND Parent...

it's something to show and model for your child. I cannot over emphasize or over stress the importance of this insight AND you doing something about it.

I tend to get asked for help when things are roughest for people, so I know it's a skill I do have.

It attracts and it strengthens people you care about, your strength and composure guides them when they are at their lowest. IT EASES their burden in their darkest hour...so of course it's a gift to give, once you gain those tools.
It is a very bonding gift...a gift of love & strength and duty and loyalty.

If you believed your d had drowned, could you do CPR or would you decompensate?

Can you see how much regret that would cause you? And endless wondering..."what IF you had done CPR? What IF you had NOT freaked?"

So, The opposite of not handling stress well, the decompensating...

is a real burden to friends, families, spouses and children. "Mom's freaking out" is NOT something you want your d to see growing up,

and she probably won't share much w/you later on, "b/c of the stress" factor...i.e., seeing you NOT handling life...

and when your h has a tough day, or a setback he'll know he cannot ever lean on you...

and when life really throws you a curve ball and you face a truly bad event like a death in the family, will you lean on each other and be there FOR each other...or will you check out?

Consider what we show and model for our kids....someday Your d will face your death and possible illness, when YOU pass on...

what will she have learned from you about coping w/stress?

This may sound morbid but I say all this^^ to cement into your mind/heart, the incredible VALUE of good coping skills...

So, Good job digging deep and I hope you'll follow through with getting the tools you must get.

We're here to help...