from the WAS to being walked away on

[strongerthanever]

25,

Yes, you are right on the money here. I always feel so low and used after a moment, be it sex or a child exchange. I feel (felt) our love again, and it was just so real and amazing. It felt so good to feel his arms around me again. I would find myself thanking God in my head. I would kiss him and silently tell him ILU.

And then he would withdraw. After an amazing night of love making he would leave the house and I would see them in the car together the next day. I can't even describe how low I would feel. Used, stupid and gullible.

That low feeling is why I need this space. Not to punish him for going back to OW, but to help me. I am not emotionaly capable of doing that while not having any expectations and letting go and gal.

So I maintain my space, for me.

I still pray for my M and for healing.