I also sent a sympathy card and a short handwritten letter to his mother today. I just told her I was sorry for her loss, that I'm sorry I couldn't be there, but the timing was difficult for me this week. That I know H has a soft heart and how it is important for him to be there and that it's important for him to go alone and spend time with his family (mom, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, etc). I also told her I loved being a part of her family and apologized if my words or actions ever led anyone to believe otherwise. (I know he told her that we were having problems....since I used to snoop his emails and text messages...and then he lied to me and told me he has told her nothing). Even if he never told her about our problems, I know she has noticed when I have seemed annoyed with being around his family, as recently as last Christmas. I told her I hope they all enjoy their time together and I look forward to when the kids and I can make the next gathering.

The letter was something I certainly would have done with or without our current problems. I love his mom, though the rest of his immediate family is very different than mine....they operate on a totally different way than mine does, which has been a recurring problem for BOTH of us. I adore his cousins and one set of aunt/uncle.


M:39 H:39
S/15, S/11 (both adopted in 2004, my step-nephews, now our kids)
M10, T13
Multiple bombs. Latest one 5/4/12, our 10th anniversary.
Still living together and sharing a bed up until 7/18/12.