Rachael, Please do not get offended when I say this, but you are not his mother, i.e., "you do not let him do anything". You have absolutely no control over this man and the only person who does is himself and the man upstairs and I know you know that. Whether he asks you if it's okay or not, he's going to go and do the things he wants when he wants to. He is running away and he doesn't always want to be w/you, especially alone. Maybe it's because of the discussions that you've had in the past and he doesn't want to get into those type of discussions w/you again. Generally when there is a third party or the children are there, maybe the discussions remain neutral. I do believe that mlcers like to have third parties around just to keep the situations neutral and safe for them.
From what you posted, it appears that you've been rather calm nonconfrontational w/him. He felt safer and yes, mlcers can't stand people who are emotional, i.e., it makes them feel very guilty and they will run faster than the speed of light to get away from us when we are that way.
He definitely is acting like a teenager running to the bar to meet up w/his friends and chatting. Who knows, the guys may be very young and your h is the older one having the time of his life.
If you go to the graduation party, enjoy yourself and leave the mlc monster at the door.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
