We talked a little this morning and I got a splinter of insight on what's going on in her head. She said a few things that I'd consider baby steps, which is good, but we're still discussing how we'll separate later today. She said she's not quite ready to go, but would like to at least get everything on the table so she doesn't feel threatened or worried about what might happen. She did commit to finishing retrovaille and we talked a little about her timeline (to which she said she had none). For the first time in over a year, I think I saw a little of the woman she used to be before she let her anger and resentment take over....her walls came down for just a few mins, and I really liked what I saw.
With regards to feeling threatened, I can see her point, as I think it'll put me more at ease as well. Also, I think she is testing the waters a bit to see how much I have changed. Historically, I'd probably yell and scream and do my best to make her miserable. But that's not the new me at all. I don't want her to be with me because she's scared, I want her to be with me because that is what she wants. And if we can lay out a plan that works for both of us, in some ways, that may free us.
In the back of my mind, I worry that it's a bit of a set up, but on the other hand, it's not going to be contractual, so I guess neither of us are going to be bound by it. We'll see how it goes.
