My H is being inappropriate with S12 again. H asked S if he wanted to do something this weekend. S said you need to call mom (my S has been staying with my parents during the week now that school is out). I don't know what she has planned. H says mom won't care as long as it's not last minute. S says you still need to call her. Also tells H since he is gone during the week he'd rather be home this weekend. H replies I guess I will need to take your mom to court and you and S15 can decide who you want to live with.

This is nonsense. It seems H is refusing to call because he sees this as me controlling things. During the last blowup I told him he needed to communicate with me directly regarding any plans.

H seems to forget that he appruptly left our family. He left the boys for me to raise. He hasn't wanted to be a parent. He just wants to pick them up here and there for a few hours at a time. If he wanted things to go differently where the boys are concerned then we should have made plans for a separation/D.

I doubt he's going to take this to court. He would then have to own up to his actions. I know the entire timeline and have documents to prove all of it including his on-line dating profiles which clearly show a man trolling for sex.

I know I am doing much better since I don't get rattled by H easily anymore. I will just give my attorney the information and let her take it from there.

Now that I have better boundries my H seems to be angrier. Last weekend he said he thought that I had finally lost mine mind. He also accused me of wanting to know what he is up to and said I was jealous. Not so. I'm hurt by all of this, but not jealous, but I kept that to myself.

For my H control Is a big thing. He yelled at me a few weeks ago that he was his own man and I was no longer going to control him. Well, I have not controlled him. Because he is PA and CA he felt controlled. There's nothing I can do about that. It seems that he has finally found his voice and I'm now on the receiving end of all the emotional outbursts that he didn't have dating back to childhood. Does anyone have experience with this?

My biggest challenge throughout all of this is not reacting to all of the threats and spew. Honestly, at the moment I feel unemotional. I feel zero desire to call my H about anything. He remains blocked so he can't text. That was his preferred method of communication so he likely feels controlled by me.

I still do quite a bit of reading regarding MLC, men and depression to understand all of this. I no longer feel the need to fix this. Of course, I never could anyway. I have to continue to pray a lot to be reminded that God is in control. I know he wants me to be happy and to have a good life. For a planner like me it's hard to let go of the reigns. I loved being married and being part of a family, so letting go of the dream has been the hardest part. I want to be married again some day, so I'm just thing putting those thoughts out there and letting God do the rest. So very hard!