My new piecing thread!

[TeaEarlGreyHot]

Too bad your thread disappeared. I was going to read it (I've been away and started to catchup last weekend while drinking my coffee at Starbucks).

Anyway, my sense is from what I've read (before stuff disappeared) was that you were/are making progress. A couple of points worth remembering in terms of the external appearance stuff:

First, neatness counts and the control of clutter can be helpful as long as you don't trend back towrds your natural tendencies. If this is an issue between the two of you, she'll always be on the lookout for your slipping.

Second, on the weight. It may not make any direct difference to her. I'm now down 70 pounds from my highest weight in late 2007 and that was after 10 years of no sex. I'm now down to 178, only 17 pounds heavier than when my wife and I met and now it has been more than 15 years without sex (and we are coming up on the 20th wedding anniversary).

Do the weight thing for you, not her. While she might appreciate it (do you become a "trophy husband?"), you should have no expectation that it will be THE THING that suddenly turns her "on." The real physical change will assist your mental well-being in addition to your physical well-being. Your self-image will take longer to change. Last year at this time when I was at ~190 lb, I had my first real realization that my body was "coming back." Of course, I saw it in my clothes and the new clothes I had to purchase. But my body image had adjusted to "fat" over the span of time before I finally started losing weight. Physically, I feel much better, my stamina is very much improved, my resting heartrate is about 52-56 beats per minute, my blood pressure, which was never classified as "high," is now down to 96/58.

Onward

The Captain