We were trying for a family (even though she didn't want to she was doing it for me)
Mab just read (most) of your sitch.
This stuck out to me.
Why would you allow her to do something you knew she was not ready for or didn't want for the sake of your own way?
What if she didn't want kids...ever?
If she doesn't want kids what kind of an environment is that for kids?
If she wanted you to drive a pink car. You don't want to drive a pink car do you? Let's just say driving a pink car would be very uncomfortable for you and every day you get in it you feel like you are going to hop out of your skin.
BUT you do it because your W wants you to drive a pink car.
Why would someone who says they love you make you do such a thing?
Why would you do it?
See where I am going?
This is unhealthy on BOTH sides. The person sacrificing or abdicating is doing it for selfish reasons they hope to get what they want eventually.
The person accepting the sacrifice is equally to blame.
How much more of the same happened in your M?
What happens when someone keeps sacrificing and then doesn't get the prize?
How do they feel about the person they are sacrificing for?
Think about it Mab.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
