Needing some guidance... 4

[jks]

You are so sweet. It really is so good to know that someone out there cares. What a gem you are!

I don't have much to report. Only that H agreed to meet with a family therapist on Monday with me. This should be interesting. When I spoke with the therapist on the phone today, I asked him some questions about what he goes over in his sessions that are of this nature.

He said that he tries to address two things... 1) the feelings and direction of how the R is going and 2) what types of things can really affect the kids in a negative way throughout our separation and ultimately if we D.

I told him at this point, I feel like H is in a bad place where he's pursuing a R with another woman and he's confused. I made it clear to him that I do not want to discuss our R. I don't want H focusing on how he's feeling about me right now and having to talk about it. It would probably all be things I don't really want to hear right now anyway. I want the session to be mainly focused on the things we should try to avoid saying and doing while we're with our kids.

He said, I can very much respect that and would handle the session any way you feel comfortable right now. He has been used by several of my old neighbors and they have all loved him. I hope this will be a positive step.

S4 kept telling me at random times throughout the day today that he wished he never met daddy. I said, why? He said because he never wants to live with us. I told him, he may want to someday. We still don't know. After reflecting on that, I feel like I should have said, he doesn't want to live with mommy, but he will always want to live with you. I will probably be saying that to him tomorrow if he brings it up again. Which I'm thinking he will. It's obviously on his mind a lot. Breaks my heart. He is such a sweet little boy. I hate to see him have to go through this.

Reachinghigher, I read your thread today and can see some similarities in how we're feeling. H gave me the same speech about never seeing a future with me. But time and time again he just can't seem to let go, just as your H is doing as well. I really would love to get through this year.

More than anything right now...