swimming with turtles and some guidance

[zig]

thanks jbnati - and thank you for helping me prepare for it.

unbidden and jessica - hope the journal thing helps you both feel better.

just came back from the block party - we had a great time and hung out at my house for a while. h had already told friends that he wouldn't be coming - and i actually didn't mind much at all - actually hadn't really expected him to

i am getting used to not having him around, and getting used to being the single with other couples. it's not so obvious because we have the kids with us.

ran into old very good friends who cut off contact with me after the split and have hung out w/ h and ow. they can barely look at me - the guy and i were really close and worked together before. but i had the opportunity to act as if - stayed really warm and friendly and inviting - after all i am the hostess and they'll be at the party next week and i want them to feel comfortable. the wife literally turned her back to me, she was so uncomfortable but i asked him if he would dj at s's party, which he had done several times before and he seemed really pleased. so there wasn't much talk, but they seemed to relax a bit before they left. i felt good about that.

so all in all a good evening, and i'm looking forward to cake baking and maybe going with a girlfriend to a second hand store to chose some sexy thing to wear (grin). all my gf's are determined that i look really good at the party. heehee!

i have such an amazing support group around me - all of you here and the people in my life, that it's time now to focus on the people that want to care about me.

25's words come to mind - it's time to stop wasting my precious days and energy on h -

zig