I'm a new person

[2chiquitos]

[/i]I told him to come over at 9am since I had a 10am appt with IC. I heard his car at 7am. When I opened the curtains at 8am, he was parked outside. S4 noticed it and said, where's papi? that's his truck!

I called him and told him S4 is sitting on the bed looking at his car through the window. I told him to come in.
There was silence.
Then I said,
[i]What if the day you walked out I had parked outside your mom's house pregnant and with S4? What would you have done? You would have told me to go home!! Well I'm not like that!
He said he wasn't planning on coming in til 9am. I said I know that but how could I have S4 looking at him from the window? I cried.
There was a long silence. I went to my room and changed the subject. Lightened the mood. And our day continued. Again as if we were a family. He took the kids to errands then brought the kids home for lunch, and took them to swim lessons. He hung out, bathed kids n went home. It was as if nothing had happened. HE IS GREAT AT "ACTING AS IF." HE SHOULD WIN A F-- OSCAR FOR HIS PERFORMANCE!!

Me, I worked it (acting as if) and told him I didn't want to to talk about the issue since it's just so draining.

IC told me not to move if I will feel guilty or resentful, especially if it's not in a good neighborhood. Instead focus on ending the morning routine. I don't have a problem with him seeing the kids everyday, but I don't want him coming over the house and acting as if we're a family.

Last night he cried and said, don't take the morning's from me. don't take my kids from me.
I said, I'm not taking the kids from you. YOU LEFT! that's when I decided he could pick up S4 at 8:30am to take him to school. Heck, he can pick him up earlier and take him to breakfast. I just don't want a R if he's still in limboland! I'm DONE!!