Have you read Heartbrokeinsd's thread?

It might be helpful for you.

And sorry, I don't buy that your MIL can make you feel anything. What's your responsibility in that?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss