why do I want want to be married to this woman anymore?
That is a good question what is the answer?
At the current time and if I took her at face value, I don't want to be married to her at all. She's flat out not attractive.
However, I know (or at least I think I know) who she really is at the core. She has a lot of potential. She is the mother of my S. There is that outside shot of getting to the best place in our M we have ever been. I have to be able to look myself in the mirror and look my S in the eye and be able to say I tried everything, absolutely everything.
