A couple of things rang out to me, and folks have already touched on them, but I'll mention them anyway.
First, on being mad at him for what he's doing. I get that, to a point, but marriage is a two way street and both people participated so stop focusing on what he's doing and think about you. What were/are your issues that you can work on? Remember, emotions are spontaneous, you can't control them....but you can control what you do with them.
Second, I would stop the pursuing. It's difficult...I know most of us struggle with it at some point, but think about it and try to catch yourself.
Lastly, I would consult an attorney if you haven't already. GWN mentioned this, but I did some reading last night (based on my own situation) and the fact that you have been a SAHM may play into spousal support. Find out your rights and protect yourself.
