I have to say that I did not cry or freak out once. This, to me, is a huge step, because I have not been able to talk to him without crying.
Good job. Looks like we're having a similar discussion this weekend....I hope I'm as strong.
Good luck, Breakdown. You can do it. It also helped that I hadn't had a full night's sleep in about four days so my head was spinning (I don't recommend this). It was really so calm and casual. You really can do it.
SD, you sound so strong and different. I really admire you! Also, I am finding your point about trying to see your H's feelings as huge. I should've been doing this myself but totally missed it. Thanks for the insight.
Thank you so much, unbidden. I cannot believe how much my feelings have changed in the last three weeks.
My individual counselor made me think about that. When I was staying a friend's and he was angry, I said, FINE. I will tell you where I am so that you don't get angry at me. But she said to instead say, I will tell you where I am so you don't have to worry. Which is very different. That was a huge problem in our relationship and goes back to me being selfish.
The two best things you can do for yourself right now are:
1. stop wondering about why he says or does anything and accept it for what it is, and 2. GET OFF FACEBOOK!
I don't know of one single instance here where facecrack was of any help at all. If I recall correctly, every single time it comes up there is some kind of grief or angst associated. It boggles my mind why people persist in doing things that frustrate their lives.
And stop feeling bad for standing up for yourself. It's not selfish to do so, financially or otherwise. And if he wants you to let him know where you're going, just do it. Don't attach "so that you don't get angry at me" or "so that you don't have to worry". It's co-dependent behavior. If you have to say anything, just say "OK, I can do that."
Sorry if that was harsh.
me 45 H 46 T 5 M 2.5 BD Sept 6 2011 OW Sept 8 2011 Threw him out Sept 8 2011
I have been following your sitch and you seem to be progressing well.
I just want to echo gwn re: facebook. GET OFF. I actually had to deactivate my account to get me to stop looking. And you know what? In this case, ignorance is bliss. We have ENOuGH to deal with as it is...
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
It also helped that I hadn't had a full night's sleep in about four days so my head was spinning (I don't recommend this). It was really so calm and casual. You really can do it.
Unfortunately, sounds about the same here. I think I got 3 hrs last night, maybe 2.5 the night before...been like that all week. Maybe I should hurry before I get rested!
