My W called me earlier today. She wanted to talk about my S's anger issue. She completely side-stepped last night's debacle. I would broach the topic, she would side-step. The cycle repeated couple times before I realized it was an exercise in futility.
We did agree my S should see a C ASAP.
My S is excited about being my assistant for VBS next week, and she's going to make a way so he can be there every night.
My S is apprehensive about going to a camp in July. She is on board with making sure he goes.
She mentioned today she is going to start seeing a C herself next week.
So while there was an elephant in the room, some progress in other areas was made.
why do I want want to be married to this woman anymore?
That is a good question what is the answer?
At the current time and if I took her at face value, I don't want to be married to her at all. She's flat out not attractive.
However, I know (or at least I think I know) who she really is at the core. She has a lot of potential. She is the mother of my S. There is that outside shot of getting to the best place in our M we have ever been. I have to be able to look myself in the mirror and look my S in the eye and be able to say I tried everything, absolutely everything.
Woah jb, I am sorry to hear that. That must have been incredibly difficult to experience on many levels. I feel terrible for your S, he must be very confused.
I wish I had good advice. I was checked out and moving on and away from my W. I had enough and didn't think things would ever change, but yet they did.
Do you see a C? Mine was a huge help throughout this journey.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
I was checked out and moving on and away from my W.
I've been around long enough to see a few cases where this is exactly what it takes to turn things. I have days where I think I'm there and others maybe not so much. It's been a long time since I've thought of what reconciliation may look like though. Unless she is willing to make some changes and convinces me she really wants to come back, I can't even think of what that would look like. I have to just live my life and make my life great. I'm really happy with the direction my life is heading in. TBH, there are many days where I feel better than I did before the bomb and shortly after the bomb.
Originally Posted By: NTX_Dad
Do you see a C?
No, I don't. I not closed to it or anything. I know there is one that I can call that I trust. However, with my GAL'ing, DB coaching, and support network, I haven't felt the need. Like I mentioned, I'm feeling pretty good about where my life's heading. My biggest concern right now is my S. My second concern is my W. I know there's not anything I can do about where my W's life is headed, but I am very concerned about where she is heading.
Hello folks, it's been a long time since I've updated. I've been extremely busy. I've been GAL'ing a ton, but there's also been more than my share of drama.
I think I'll break this update into multiple posts.
After that Thursday night debacle, I had a great week of GAL'ing, The Saturday after, I went on a group bike ride, turned out to be the most social ride I've been on to date.
The following week I was a crew leader for VBS at my church and I had a blast! My S was my assistant crew leader and he was able to be there all week long.
We finished the week with my S and I going to SpiritSong and seeing tobyMac in concert.
In the meantime, I've been extremely busy at work.
Of course, that week would have not been complete if there hadn't been any drama in my sitch. My W texted me on Thursday night and said my S had told her he thought I may have a GF. I talked to my S about it that night. He's seen me texting a lot and giving and receiving a lot of hugs at church. These are all valid observations. I have made a lot new friends through this. A lot of the texting is to/from members of people supporting me throughout my situation. When my S and I talked on that Thursday night, I don't think he believed me.
On Saturday night we talked again. I told him I am trusting God to show me what to do right now, and He's not telling me it's OK to date right now. This turned into a conversation about how God talks to us. So, I think it turned out for the better.
Good things first. On top of the usual GAL'ing and exercise, I was able to add a social aspect. On July 4th, I met up with a running group from church. We all ran a race together in the morning and went out to breakfast afterward. It was a great time!
I had my S in the evening, and I took him to see the fireworks at King's Island. We then rode roller coasters until Midnight. Unfortunately, they get to me more than they used to.
Last Saturday, I went a group bike ride with the local cycle club and got 40 miles in. I was thinking about 50, but we had a high temperature of 104 on Saturday, and that's with humidity.
But there was also drama last week. This time it involved my S. He kept me up until 2am in the morning because he was extremely reluctant to go to the overnight summer camp he's at this week. I sprung into action the next day. I texted someone I knew was going to be there as a counselor and emailed the camp dean. I had the counselor send my S a text to welcome him to camp. I also talked with the camp dean about 40 minutes on the phone. We worked it out that they would "need" and extra counselor "on-call" for this week. I ended up spending the night there last night. We're playing by ear for now. My S seemed to be doing pretty well with camp last night to the point I wasn't sure I really needed to be there.
That brings us to this week. More GAL'ing, a lot more drama.
We had family fun day at church yesterday before I took my S to camp. Enjoyed hanging out with everyone.
My W brought my S over to drop him off for camp. My S still didn't want to go to camp, but that drama was minor in comparison to the drama to come. My W was outside, and my S was on the stairs inside the house. My W asked about the financial paperwork. I told her I haven't gotten all together yet. I also told her I wasn't comfortable giving it to her. She pressed on this point. I told her I didn't trust her enough to give it to her, especially after her actions over the last couple of weeks. Anyone have any guesses on how much she liked that? I did tell her I could get to her L.
Well I think it only took enough time for her to drive home to send me a nasty gram text: I can't believe what u just said to me and in front of our son. U told me u wanted us to b friends above everything but ur judgement passed upon me is showing me that there is not a chance of that. Bc i have a right to it, i expect to have copies of our tax filings by the end of the week. If u dont want to give the acct info for the 401k, then plz send to my atty by fri. If this is not done by then, i will have no choice but to file for divorce. I will not allow u to control me any more. U have no say in my choices and i have a right to these things regardless of the choices i m making.
My S was my assistant crew leader and he was able to be there all week long. 
My W texted me on Thursday night and said my S had told her he thought I may have a GF. I talked to my S about it that night. He's seen me texting a lot and giving and receiving a lot of hugs at church. These are all valid observations. I have made a lot new friends through this. A lot of the texting is to/from members of people supporting me throughout my situation. When my S and I talked on that Thursday night, I don't think he believed me. 
