Quote: I've thought a lot about Ellie's suggestion about being out of town when and if he comes back... but my gut tells me it is not a good idea. Part of what lead to this mess is my infinite ability to go my own way in pursuit of my personal and proffessional interests, and what you can call my total independence... He does not need to be reminded that I can move on without him. He knows that well.
If that's the case, then you are probably right. Most people have the opposite problem of being perceived by the WAS as too needy or clingy. Still, get your D out and about doing some fun things locally, so she will be distracted.
Quote: He does not need to be reminded that I can move on without him. He knows that well. While he was busy messing up his life and our M, I built a sucessful bussiness and took care of a wonderful big girl.
Well done Optimist! Sometimes it has needed all my strength to carry on in the most minimal way, these last few months.
I think your idea to keep calm and just carry on with your life at home will speak volumes to your H.
Wishing you all the best in your situation,
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Opt - I guess I didn't remember that your independence was an issue with your H - sorry.
But I think a day trip or outing with your D is in order for both of you. If it is normal procedure in your home as it is ours, just leave a note saying where you went and when you'll be back, in case he arrives while you are gone.
But the distraction would probably be good for both of you, especially with the deadline approaching.
If he isn't home by Sunday night, I think you are right in calling or visiting his workplace, or, if you feel the need - calling the OW.
At that point you are making sure he is physically safe. Your D needs that assurance even if your H doesn't understand that. She needs to hear his voice.
Man, I don't know how you are doing it. I am just going with the flow, but on a pretty calm stretch of water - you on the other hand, are in pretty turbulent waters. And your H is acting like "Man overboard!"
I am proud of you. The week has almost passed and you are still going strong. I am sure this has tested you to no end, but you have almost passed this one too!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
Gosh, this sounds exhausting, Opt. I really, really feel for you. I agree that you seem incredibly strong to me. I hope you have news soon. Has he ever been self-destructive in his depression?
Thank you Kevin, kitti and specially Holdingon (who graciously donated 1 h of her time for the cause) for holding my hands tonight. I feel much better now I have regained my balance on the tighrope, but for a while I literally hung by my fingertips...
Love you all.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Hey opt... Wish I could have done more... But I hope I was able to give you a ray of sunshine..
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I have regained my balance on the tighrope, but for a while I literally hung by my fingertips...
