Thanks accuray,

I've got NMMNG and I've begun to work through it but it is all happening at breakneck speed. DBing, drama triangles, NMMNG - these are things I never even knew existed until a month ago. Throw in the stress of the actual cause of the problem and I'm more than a bit frazzled at the moment!
I did do the 5 languages questionnaire and got the following
5 Words of Affirmation
7 Quality Time
2 Receiving Gifts
6 Acts of Service
10 Physical Touch

Which fits in nicely with the nice guy profile about being bad at receiving things. I'm going to order the 5 languages and HOTYN books asap too.