I agree with snodderly and sa, although I don't have much advice because I'm still somewhat new to this journey, but I just came to the same conclusion with my H in April. I could have written almost the same post as you (I probably did). Detaching has been the best thing. I wish I had done it earlier, but I don't think I was ready to do it to this extent before. Now I am at peace that I have done my best, and now it is time for me to heal. No one will fault you for your choice. I too, was looking for a friendship, but they aren't at a place to be a good friend. A friendship is about give and take, and they are only about the take right now. Since I'v detached though, I do see H not as confident in his choices. I'm sure he had this pretty picture in his head how he's have it all. A stream of gf's, see his kids when he liked,be the cool/fun dad, be my best friend, stay close with my family etc. None of that is true, and a lot of his family are not happy with him either. Oh and his friends? Not many left...not including his new ones that are 10 years younger than him. I'm not sure about your W, but I have a strong feeling that my H wanted to be good friends so that he could keep tabs on me, and limit my chances of moving on with someone else..keep me emotionally invested in him. Plus, by you detaching this is your W's chance to see the full consequences of her choices/actions. She might talk like the children are the reason for wanting you in her life, but do you really buy that?
All the best, and keep coming here. Detaching/"being done" is still part of the MLC journey.
Me-36 H-37 D11 S8 S6 M9 T19 ILYNILWY 11/10 discover EA 02/11 discover EA is really PA/H moved out 03/11 H wants to go to counselling,piecing 12/11 Find out still OW(plural), I'm officially done/detached 04/12
