Needing some guidance... 4

[Accuray]

I know that if we were D'd I would definitely look at the situation differently.

How would you look at it differently, and are you sure?

I feel guilty hanging out with other guys because I morally don't feel good about that decision. But I would like not to care. If I were D'd, I wouldn't care. It gives me a way to move on.

D is just a piece of paper. Could you gain the same freedom to date other guys and move on with a separation agreement that stipulates that you can date other people? If it's a separation agreement that H signs does that give you the freedom you need?

You took marriage vows, and those mean something to you.

Now you feel trapped because you still feel an obligation to honor your vows, but are getting none of the benefits associated with doing so. In fact, it's holding you back from getting your emotional needs met -- H won't meet them, but you can't expect anyone else to meet them either as long as you are married to H.

One could argue that when H left the marriage to start a relationship with OW, he released you from any obligation to honor your vows yourself.

Yet at the same time, you've chosen to remain faithful to your vows.

Is "D" the only thing that will release you from this obligation in your mind? Would a separation agreement suffice?

Accuray