New to separation. Am I doing the right things?

[Accuray]

I’ve been trying to pay off some of those accounts

Unfortunately in DB-land "trying" doesn't mean anything. I wouldn't bring it up until they are paid off and you have your financial situation in order.

If she asks you about a particular debt that you have managed to close you, you can tell her "that one is paid off" and leave it at that, unless she asks more. The crucial, crucial point is that she needs to understand that you are adopting new behaviors as part of who you want to become. You are NOT "doing a bunch of things" to make her happy. If she believes you're just paying off the debts for her benefit, then she'll have NO confidence that you won't just get into debt again.

If she sees you acting in a new, more financially conservative way, getting a better job, cutting out extravagances, and doing it when no one is watching, that's when she starts to question if she "knows" exactly what you're going to do and what you're about, and that's what you want.

The strategy is do it for yourself. More than likely, she'll notice. The beauty of it is that even if she DOESN'T notice, you still feel good about yourself and come out of this situation stronger than when you went in.

Make sense?

Accuray