In regards to the intimacy incident. I would concur with greatwhitenorth on this one. Without trying to sound too harsh, I don’t think at this point in your sitch it’s going to be helpful. Yes, we all backslide, that’s normal. Also, most of all start out doing the begging, pleading, etc…(I did briefly). I feel strongly that during this transition phase in your life you need to do things that make him respect you. FWIW, A lot of the time respects been lost and that’s what’s gotten some of us to this point. I am sure your learning from this form and DB, most of it is counterintuitive. Also, I am so glad (figuring the circumstances) that you found this board and have been reading DB. Congrats with getting a job, that’s good news. I am sure it’s a culture shock getting back into the work force again.
Personally, I feel slight comfort knowing that I am doing almost everything in my control to help influence a positive outcome. If I hadn’t found DB, I KNOW I would be in much worse shape right now and I would be doing a lot of the wrong things. I noticed that you made multiple comments about how your mad at him for putting you in this sitch, understandably so however please try and stop that thinking, if at all possible. It’s negative thinking and it does no good. While I am sure he has pitfalls, it usually takes two people. Am I upset that my W left, no doubt!!! However I know that being mad at her does me no good in any way, shape or form.
Finally, it sounds like you and H see each other somewhat regularly. I know there’s your child involved but hopefully you keep the communications with H limited. As you might have noticed from this board, there’s a common theme. A lot of the time the distance is what can help bring people closer again. Stay strong and take care of yourself. You seem like you have your head on your shoulders.
Me(M):37 W:42 T: 14 M: 11 S: 8 D: 4 W wanted separation 5/5 Stopped living together 5/5
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude”. Thomas Jefferson
