Swimming with Turtles pt 2

[zig]

oh vera - your post reassured me so much this morning.

and thanks for the compliment about my shawls - so pleased you like them:)

Like I told Brit - it's really an investment in yourself and your own sanity, and you can't really put a price on that, right?

^^^^ That! was the thing i needed to hear right now. last night and this morning i've been focused on how can i paint a good enough accurate pic in about 15 mins so joann can help me right away to turn things around.

that was the wrong attitude!! it's about me and how i can handle this better for myself - to just be nudged onto the right track so that i am not so anxious about everything

Remember, solution-based coaching is not about delving into everything that's happened in the past but looking at what hasn't worked and trying to figure out what you can do next


i am a little lost here in terms of telling her what has worked or not worked. i can't tell anything that's worked - because lately he has withdrawn so much, and where as we used to at least talk before, now he's quit almost completely. lately he has become so skittish, that i have to stay really backed off hard.

i will make sure to ask about the party. and whether my "no resistance to anything going on" is the best way to go.

thanks so much for describing how you did it - i didn't realize that you had had coaching sessions. too. are you still doing them? how often do you set up an appointment?

last night i skimmed through some of my earlier threads and posts and also read a bit of the journal that i had kept for the first few months. lots of surprises there. i saw how i had been much stronger earlier, and realized that as this sitch has continued and he has kept on with ow, getting a bit bolder each time, i have not reacted so well inside myself.

made me realize that i need to go back and read my threads and see where i was at - the last few weeks i have been a lot off kilter than i was before.

what really stunned me is what i wrote in the journal in the first weeks - i had "got it" then already , what i had to do and how i had to do it, but my own insecurity allowed me to get so pulled in by his antics that i became more and more uncentered over the months

when you refer to general timeline - do you mean after the separation started or from when we met?

thanks again vera

zig