Going around in circles

[angel61]

Hi Cyrena,

To answer your questions: Yes, I have imagined life without H and I could do it, no problem. I actually like it when he is not around as he is controlling and I am a free spirit. I can get to indulge in my relaxed, artistic side, not look at the clock, and break rules I get a taste of that when H is away!!! PLus I am not financially dependent on him; We have the same qualifications (mine are actually better). Its not a problem of being able to do it, its really just my desire to keep our family together.

And I know H wants to keep the family together too.

The dynamic that is changing.... an example would be yesterday.

We were pleasantly chatting in the kitchen about work. He mentioned that their project is coming to a big turn - they will be implanting their first fully manufacturable prototype into patients in a couple of months, and so he was going to xOW's country next month to check out everything, then the surgeons in that country are traveling to the US for training, which he will be doing, then they all go back to xOW's country for the actual surgeries.

I questioned why he was going to have to go before the training, as he has people there to help him (xOW included, if she does her job, which she apparently is not too reliable for. There is another employee though who seems good). The way he explained to me what he needed to do seemed so simple (checking the patient's records). He could easily have that scanned!

He immediately asked me if I did not want him to travel. I got offended at his way of thinking. Granted, I would prefer him not to travel if there was a way around it.

When I got offended, and told him that he did not give me the benefit of the doubt but immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was trying to prevent him from traveling, he quickly turned around and apologized for being negative.

He said that old habits dies hard, and the explained that he had to check the patients as well to make sure that they were screened properly and that everything was ready to go by the time the surgeons got back and were ready tp go. Apparently, an important US surgeon is also going to be part of the team and of course, they want to impress him.

He brought up the fact that he has been trying really hard to e positive about us for the past few weeks and asked if I had noticed. I said actually yes, and thanked him for it, and also apologized for reacting right away.

So that is what is changing now - and what I am seeing as efforts on his part to keep everything smooth.

I don't know if keeping our R smooth and happy will motivate him in the end to stay and maybe even lern to love me, or bring back some of the 'in love" feelings, as Accuray, you have stated.

I hope so.