WAH apparently stopped by while me and my daughter were getting lunch. He called and apologized for not calling before he left. We had a good, short talk. Very pleasant and he said he would be by tonight after work because he is staying with our daughter tomorrow while I have orientation.
I opened my own checking account so now I have somewhere for my work checks to go. I'm going to church tonight and tomorrow I will start calling some more attorneys. I'm also going to call for information about getting assistance for child care and call a few more apartments. The best thing for me to do right now is keep busy.
Me:29; W:37 T: 6 M: 4 D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17 H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12 H moved back in: 6/28/12 Confirmed EA: 8/12
Jessica - welcome to the board. I think you'll find a lot of caring people here and a lot of good advice.
I think you've been given a lot of good advice by the others.
Like 25 said, you can probably slow this down. Take the extra time if you get and use it to your advantage. This is an opportunity to become the best possible version of yourself.
For me, GAL'ing has been very helpful. It was best to engage in healthy activities that I felt made me a better person. I also enjoyed those activities and still do. I have met a lot of amazing people here on this board and outside the board along this journey.
Hang in there. You'll be off moderation soon if you are not already.
Thanks! I hope I can slow this down. I have no idea how to though. He seems determined that this is the best course for us. He is stubborn as all get out. And I don't want to bring up any relationship talk, of course. But I am trying harder, especially in not giving into my feelings.
Need to find some GAL activities. I am a lot businer than ever now, since I'm starting my new job on Monday and trying to find an apartment and get a lawyer and everything else that's going on. I'm exhausted right now and need to go to sleep.
Me:29; W:37 T: 6 M: 4 D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17 H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12 H moved back in: 6/28/12 Confirmed EA: 8/12
Not sure if I made a mistake last night. WAH came over after work because he needed to be here in the morning to stay with our daughter while I went to orientation. He slept in bed with me and we ended up being intimate.
I got to talk to him for a little bit when I got home from orientation. He was tired so didn't talk that much but listened while I told him about orientation.
He thanked me for last night. Just not sure if it was a good idea or not.
Thoughts?
Me:29; W:37 T: 6 M: 4 D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17 H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12 H moved back in: 6/28/12 Confirmed EA: 8/12
I've been struggling with a lot of different emotions lately. Earlier when I was out I was just mad. I am so mad at WAH for putting us in this position. Not only did he leave, but he's uprooting our whole lives. He'll come back to the house once we're gone. Me and my daughter are the ones that have to leave, I had to find a job and she'll have to go to childcare for the first time. She's never been away from me for an extended time. Luckily I found a job pretty quickly. But I'm trying to find an attorney, go through training, find care for my daughter along with trying to arrange care for her during my training, find an apartment, apply for food stamps and child care assistance. All this plus trying to get through the emotional pain of my husband leaving me and trying not to throw a pity party for myself. This has definitely tested me in a way that I have never been tested. If it weren't for my daughter I don't know where I'd be. But I'm still having a hard time juggling everything and keeping it all together. My daughter is definitely getting the raw end of the deal.
Oh well! That's my rant for the day! Need to keep my head up and do what's best for me and my daughter.
Me:29; W:37 T: 6 M: 4 D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17 H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12 H moved back in: 6/28/12 Confirmed EA: 8/12
Thank you for your post. I am sorry as well. [censored] we are here but it's good to know we are here to help one another during the most difficult parts of our lives.
You sound like a very level headed person, so you're ahead of the game already. You can keep your emotions in check when you need to. Focus.
Is there a logical reason as to why you and your daughter are leaving the family home?
There seems to be two camps in terms of intimacy with the WAS. One camp believes it keeps them hooked in, the other believes it is cake eating and a bad idea. I am of the latter opinion.
The purpose of DBing first and foremost is to invest in yourself so that you come out of this in the best shap you possibly can. Beyond that, you might save your marriage when your WAS misses the LBS and realizes that the marriage can be better. As long as the WAS gets the benefits of the relationship without any of the responsibilities / obligations, then the situation will likely not change.
If you have not already, you will be referred to Sandi's 32 rules, at the top of the newcomers index.
Did your H have any complaints about you or your marriage?
Stay cool and keep posting. You will find lots of support, wisdom and advice here. You will be fine if you decide to be and put your energies there.
me 45 H 46 T 5 M 2.5 BD Sept 6 2011 OW Sept 8 2011 Threw him out Sept 8 2011
There seems to be two camps in terms of intimacy with the WAS. One camp believes it keeps them hooked in, the other believes it is cake eating and a bad idea. I am of the latter opinion.
hi jess, i'm of the second camp. i read somewhere that men feel connected through sex and doing things together.
i think you can still do great DB'ing and still have an intimate, physical relationship with your H IF you want one. i don't see it as cake eating if you're eating the cake, too. and if it lets him feel closer to you, then so much the better.
you should still GAL, work on your areas that need improvement, be the best person you can be, do 180's, etc.
not all on here would agree but you really must analyze your own feelings on this and how it effects your sitch and your progress.
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
