Hey 25, Thanks for your post. Yea I need to do more. Is that what you mean by my passivity? Since I am not working and h is not happy about that,and because my h is neglecting some bills,he is not going to pay for the counseling. I have some emergency money I put aside but I don't know if I want to use that right now.
I go from wanting to save this marriage to sometimes wanting him out. This "numb" and "confused" business of his is getting old. He is going out twice a week now and I asked how he would feel if I hung out at the bar 2x a week for 2 or 3 hours at a time? He said he wouldn't mind. Last night I got bored listening to him talk about his not caring about anything for the hundredth time and telling me he is going to his friends house because his friend seems down and needs him. He asked if I minded and I said go ahead. But I'm kinda pissed. What about our family and me? I got up and said I was taking a shower, then I went downstairs to be away from him. Yesterday he took his buddies from work sailing. He is running away without leaving me.
I am volunteering for a church thing next month and I am trying to figure out what else to volunteer for. Maybe a soup kitchen and there is a knitting club that I need to check out. When I think about the problems in my marriage, I think my husband has always been selfish, he always did what he wanted as far as going out,while I raised the kids. Even if he did become less confused, the problems would have to be addressed. I hate this being on the fence behavior. I would like to have a better marriage with him but I don't know how patient i can be.
I was thinking when he goes out to his friends tonight that I should not be home when he gets back. I may take myself to a movie. And when he asks where I was should I just say I was out and leave it at that? Like I said before, I have been on my own and raised my oldest son for 6 years before I remarried.
