Why? Because once they are in crisis, in their minds, they have to move forward at all costs. Keep in mind that while they are in bed at night, their thought processes are kicked into high gear and that's when they think about things. When they are up and about, their thought processes are very different and the light of day starts the compartmentalizing all over again.
In their eyes, there is no going back...only forward in the early stages. In their minds they have to do this right now and the urgency is so strong for them to go out there and search for that illusive happiness because they fear death and growing old. Your h was rational and not in depression, he would not be thinking/questioning himself only at night...he would do it in the daylight hours as well.
The crisis is not rational, so you can't rationalize why they do or think the things that they do. That's why it is very important that you keep the focus on you and what you need to do to survive.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
