What a morning! Went to get legal advice earlier. Basically, they said don't worry too much about divorce yet. Cut the mortgage payments to repayment only. After selling the house, costs, fees etc we'll walk away from our marriage with about 10000 each. I guess looking on the bright side and regarding some of the storiesposted on here that's actually a great result.
Then I came home to find her car in the drive. Deep breath, stay calm.
She was really angry when I came in as I've moved all her junk, sorry personal possessions, into a small bedroom. As a result she claimed I had packed her away and was living happily in our nice house and it wasn't fair. Even though she has now realised she has to face the consequences of her actions. Actions which it nows look like meaning she could well be homeless for a month but is that my fault? I stupidly caved and offered her space for that period but she said she didn't think it would work.
The conversation basically went, me to her, "how are you?". Her to me (cue tears), "me, me, me, me, me, me, me. We are fundamentally different, so I'm done. Me, me, me, me, me, me." For every me in there please insert a cliched WAS justification statement as she basically wrote off our marriage and relationship. She said she didn't want to go to MC and I told her I wasn't going to email anyway. She said we had to live separate lives and if that meant me moving to somewhere I actually wanted to live then I should do it (I always wanted to leave the country and she stopped me because of her family/job). Still no talk about divorce! She was playing with her now empty ring finger a lot. She is still very much in the fog. I was calm, didn't push anything. The hardest bit was that she said she knows I'm a nice guy and that she knows that she could make it all stop (she is having panic attacks and almost blacked out the other day) by coming back but doesn't want to. She has decided she has to find herself and maybe there's a possibility in the future but we can't base our lives on it. She feels really guilty but this is all about her. We never thought about our relationship enough and now she is going to work on herself. It's not being strong but she knows it's right. I said OK, do whatever you've got to do, helped her take her stuff out, we had a couple of kisses, I said give me a call because I'm not going to contact you and then she got in her car and drove off. It's not even lunchtime yet and I'm ready to crawl back into bed!
