Vero, Great job at gathering the strength to look at the house. I know it's a hard step. Well done.
I think you started the conversation well with why you needed to leave the house. Moving forward, no matter how much we don't want it sometimes, is a necessary part of this journey.
Originally Posted By: veroprado
He called after and said he was sorry. Then he brought up the morning visits. That's when I had to put up my boundaries. I told him that since he is still disrespecting me (he continues seeing OW) then I don't want him coming over in the morning. I said, I thought that by now you wouldn't be talking to her. I need to teach you how to respect me.
I don't understand this at all. YOU said that you needed to set this boundary because YOU needed space and needed to settle down emotionally.
Yet the above makes it seem like you stopped him from seeing his kids in the morning because of the OW.
Am I misreading this?
Because if I'm not, then by your own admittance you are punishing him for his relationship with his OW.. by keeping him away from his kids.
And I'm just gonna be honest.. that's wrong.
I know you're hurting and I know it's hard.. but you need to slow down. This post is full of emotional reactions - which make sense - but don't do you or your M any good at the moment.
Breathe, walk-a-way, keep the conversations short and to the point... whatever.. but find a way to not get emotional during a discussion...
Learn to stand strong and confident with your need for space, but not in an angry or hurtful way.
You can do this...
The more you practice DBing - the easier it becomes.
I promise.
((( )))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
