I'm a new person

[2chiquitos]

God help me.

I did it. I posted the house for rent and went to look at a place today. The place has everything I need but it's not in the best area.

H came over giving advice on how to redo the house. He asked what was wrong and I told him. I don't want to live here if you're not here. When we first moved into this house it was because we were doing it together. There are too many projects at this house and I can't afford them. I need to be independent of you and your family. I can't do that if I continue living here. You told me you're not asking me to have hope or patience. Well then I need to live my life as if you're not coming back.

He responded by telling me I should stay for the kids because here they have a yard, we can safely go for walks at night.

This is when I broke down (I sounded like a WAS).This decision is not an easy one to make. I don't even know if it's the best decision, but I have to do it for me.

He called after and said he was sorry. Then he brought up the morning visits. That's when I had to put up my boundaries. I told him that since he is still disrespecting me (he continues seeing OW) then I don't want him coming over in the morning. I said, I thought that by now you wouldn't be talking to her. I need to teach you how to respect me

There was crying. I felt so guilty. I agreed to him coming to pick up S4, but no more morning breakfast routine. He comes at the time S4 needs to leave the house.

He text shortly after, I promise you that things will get better. I will do anything to see my children. I love you guys too much.
I didn't respond. I cried. That's the closest he's come to telling me he loves me.
He called a few minutes later (very uncommon) to see what we were doing. I reminded him that this is very hard for me.