Stand up. Poor and tired, but more than this.

[LIO]

Hi kat

Nothing to say on the h front! Doing well on keeping my distance, no phone calls, emails, texts, nothing. If I check the blog I am left feeling empty now,so i don't go there anymore either. I am feeling moody, anxious, but it's right sound the right 'time' for that . Should have recognized it from reading all my previous posts around this time on how we have blowouts (ie like Sunday night where I was told that he is never coming back and I am delusional) After that one, we actually "talked" it out on what the triggers were for both of us (I repeat myself a lot (his problem with me) because he 'hears me' but doesn't acknowledge that he hears me, and he turns his back on me and walks away) While that's a plus and they are getting fewer and further between (1 month ago now, instead of daily,weekly) it's frustrating that I still allow myself to react. When h calls, I just hand phone to s.

So tomorrow is the big listing day! I have just a few items to do around the house, but then it's maintenance ( the hardest part!). A little bit of fear and realization that I could possibly be moving is kicking in. I have never been afraid before, but this is the first potential move without h.

I am making a workout, clean eating challenge with my bf, that we will be starting tomorrow. It's time I get this physical fitness goal of mine started! Once I can get some extra $ in, I would like to sign s and i up for a martial art. I like the structure of it for both of us. And I need to get my frustrations out physically.