I tried to call him today and had an emotional breakdown when the phone call went straight to voicemail.
I know I would have broken no contact, but I was having a rough day. I took one of our dogs to the dog park and she got beat up by a bigger dog, then another dog pee'd on me. I just started thinking about how if he had been there, he would have taken care of the dogs fighting. I would have felt safe he was there. Things would have been better if he was there. It was like another slap in the face from the universe that he is gone.
I feel like this is so much different from some of the other situations on DB. We don't have any kids. He moved from a different state. Now, I don't know the exact reason his phone went straight to VM, but I have a feeling it's because he sent my calls to go that way. How can I fix this if I'm never able to speak to him again?
I wish I was off moderation so that my posts would show up and I could get advice... I feel so alone.
