Something The Boys And I Have Noticed

[tadpole1025]

Jack, you're right. One Hell of a sucker punch.

Sometimes I really do believe that if she would have just stopped going to the internet dating site and stopped talking to OM, we could have saved things. We went to three counseling session before she called it off and couldn't quit talking to him. It was an addiction.

She also believes that since a lot of our relatives are divorced, that it is ok. I don't, but I guess it doesn't matter.

Brookie, you said:

And you keep reiterating what she has said about you in texts to your son (though I dont understand why you know what was written). You say them as though you still dont understand why she says them.

His phone was exploding. I asked him what was going on and he told me. He actually said she was "spewing."

25 said:

And please stop wondering WHY. Did you really read my post? My neighbor's d is 11 and has cancer and neither she nor her dad ask that question.

Yes I did. I know I need to quit wondering why. It is hard sometimes. Somedays I do really well and others I ask "why" or "how could she?"

Can you see how useless that question is?

Yep. I do. I still seem to come back to it from time to time though.

II. Detachment
Detachment is critical to the process of altering and repairing a relationship.

Attached, we take personally all that is said, not said, done and not done. Our ego gets wounded and we say or do things that undermine our goals.

We can NOT control the actions of another. We are, however, responsible for our own actions. We are responsible for our own happiness.

Very VERY true....but oh so hard to do.

Maybe I can be happy again someday. Maybe it is me, but sometimes I just have a really hard time grasping all that has happened and the reality of it all.

Her personality completely changed. Years back, my brother used to say to my mom: "It looks luck Tad was the lucky one. He got the good wife." Well, maybe I didn't.

She is in such a fog right now, but like Brookie said, it is her reality. It is what it is.

I am currently seeing three ladies and one of them is absolutely gorgeous (former top 5 for Ms. Arizona). But.......there is nothing there for me feelings wise. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I still feel like I've spent the last 25 years being lied to.

Thanks for all the input.

Tad