Optimistic...not hopeless! :)

[hopingandpraying]

It's been awhile since I've last posted...last couple weeks of work before summer break...BUSY BUSY!

Anyways, nothing really new on my end. H still has not come to get the rest of things, but he emailed me saying that I have been deceitful (I have not at all) these past few months and that I have a scheme with this divorce and asked why I haven't filed yet.

I didn't even know how to respond to his email...At first I had this long in depth email responding to the fact that he called ME the deceitful one and said that I've acquired everything from our life together and he has NOTHING to show for it. He also stated the only thing that was messed with was my emotions a little in this whole situation.

I was in complete awe of his email to me and like I said, had this long response, but all I came up with was..I'm sorry you feel this way. If you would like the divorce, go file and please let me know when you want to pick up the rest of your belongings.

I'm almost at my breaking point. I still love him, but I don't think I can deal with him ignoring me or the life and plans we had created. I have begun dating, which goes against some of my beliefs because I am STILL married. However, I am open with the guys that I have been hanging out with. It's fun to hang out with and meet new people, but it still feels weird and different because deep down inside, I want it to be my H.

My internal timeline to decide to file on my own or not is at the end of this week, so we will see how this all works out...I'm not sure what to do...