Take it one day at a time sweetie. Every day try to do something to make yourself stronger-this will take alot of mental energy. Keep telling yourself over and over, I HAVE NO CONTOL, I HAVE NO CONTROL, I HAVE NO CONTROL.
This can help you realize that worrying does nothing. Just maintain your composure. I've said it before-your an AMAZINGLY strong woman. Every one of us is in your corner........we're here. Rachael
Thank you again, everybody for checking on me. I am keeping as busy as I can and try not to overanalyze things or make assumptions, but sometimes it is difficult to keep your mind from wandering...
Anyway, to answer your question, Pam, yes, he could be trying me, though it feels as a rather cruel test. Actually in one of his posts to my old thread, CHL suggested something about tests... I wonder how much he suspected about this... but neither here nor there.
Quote: Understandable. (Well, at least to me.) He's telling you that he's not involved with OW at this point. He's also saying that he can't/won't return to a life like he was living before. He's trying at this point to decide what his best course of action is. It's very important at this point for you to continue showing him that the changes are real. Don't be surprised if he "tests" you at this point.
It's easy to forget that the WAS is hurting also. He wants to make sure he's not returning to a situation that's going to cause him more pain. It's kind of a self-defense mechanism. When he's debating what he wants to do, it's very important that you keep DB'ing. It's important at this point for him to see that the changes are real.
But the other, alternative explanation, that he has really decided against trying again and is getting her cards ready to proceed with separation and divorce is also quite possible. It would explain the address changes, the house, the cc, the lack of contact...
Anyway, Rachel is absolutely right: I cannot control him, I can only control myself. And I refuse to torture myself any more than I have to. So I am trying to avoid that track of thought as much as I can.
I am taking my child to skate and dance class today, and then to Chick Fil A. She had a very tough time going to sleep last night because she missed her Daddy and remembered him...
Still swimming...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Hang in there - hopefully keeping your D occupied is helping pass the time for you as well.
It is kind of sad to think that these moments are spent truly just "passing time" for you and your D while waiting to hear from your H.
I hope that sometime you can look back on it as you would an illness and recognize that you all got better and got back to your usual life. Not unlike a few months ago when you all had that never-ending URI (upper respiratory illness).
I admire your strength and resolve. This week has to be painful. Just remember that we are all here to help you work through your pain, anger, confusion and whatever else you are feeling.
I may be around later tonight or tomorrow afternoon if you'd like to chat a bit.
(((((OPT and DD)))))
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
One more day and still no news... I am really beginning to worry... Is he OK? Whenever I think he is not, I remember that OW's daughters told my friend he was not expected until the 17th... but keeping my mind still is not easy.
I have a busy day at work to look forward to...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I had words of comfort, something that would make this easier, but I can't find them. I do think you are doing an amazing job under very difficult circumstances and are one he!l of a woman!
It's wonderful that we can pull the strength from somewhere when we have to!
I must "ditto" Dagny; I think you are one he// of a woman! And a great mom!
I think you need to set your mind on not seeing or hearing from your H until the 17th or 18th. Put yourself in his shoes (and who would want to) he is having a break down and he needs time to think. Away from everyone.
Keep going and pray for him, because hon, I think he needs all the help he can get!
Opt, I want to ring your H's neck for doing this to you.! (sorry)If this is a test, does your D deserve to be a part of it?
These guys really kill me with the stuff they pull. Your obviously has things to work through-I hope he's working on them.
If he does not come home then he's not worthy of you, and you deserve love and repect Opt. Your doing great-your D is very lucky to have you as her Mommy. Rachael
