Wow, jks, I'm the same height as you! But I only went down to 117 pounds. I'm up to 123 now and am thrilled. I am so glad you are gaining muscle! And getting your mojo back.
It sounds like H is liking the way you look. That's SO encouraging!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Doing good, reachinghigher. Thanks so much for asking. I took the kids to get ice cream after dinner tonight and then we got in the hot tub. It was a relaxing evening just hangin with my kids. I now plan to put them to bed and read.
Have any of you heard of the book called "Real Love?" It's the one I'm on right now and it is quite the eye-opener. One of my sweet neighbor's from my old neighborhood ordered it for me and had it sent to my house. Such a sweet gesture. I miss my old neighborhood a lot sometimes. I had a lot of good people there supporting me.
And, yes, my mom and her H are out of town.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
So H slept over at OW's last night. Why does "dating" OW mean having to have sleepovers with her?? Just seems so inappropriate to do while you're married to someone else.
My first instinct is to end this M. I feel like I want to go to OW's house myself and serve H divorce papers. I don't deserve this. I hate that staying in this makes me miserable and leaving it makes me miserable.
I really do believe that if I didn't have children with this man I would have filed so long ago. What am I holding on to? A marriage with someone who wishes they were with someone else?
Telling me that his family means more to him than anything else? Yet he continues to see this woman and do nothing to bring his family back together. All lies. I wish someone could just walk me in to the L's office and force me to file because I just CAN'T DO IT!!
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
Jks, I know it hurts ( same situation), it makes you burn with anger I know. Breathe and let it go......
You cant control him or his decisions. You can control yours only and right now you are on what might be the greatest journey of your life that will forever impact you and your children. Let go of his power to make you react emotionally right now. You have your kids with you. They Are so lucky to have a mature, strong ( and from you wrote before pretty buffed) mother that will always be fighting for them.
Its not right, its not fair, its mean and it hurts, but you are here for a reason. You will get out of the woods.
((( )))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
jks, I'm so, so sorry that's so painful! And your mom gone, too!
bustingout seems like she has very good advice.
You are an incredibly strong woman! I know you don't feel like it right now! But you are holding on to home and heart despite wicked actions of others and desperate feelings in your heart.
My H said last night he couldn't do what I'm doing.
And I don't think I could do what you are doing, jks. My sitch is far easier than yours. Heck, it takes every ounce of strength and energy and love to be a mom to three little ones; but now you have to put up with all these problems with H and OW!!!
I just want you to know you are in my heart and prayers today. Just one foot in front of the other one. The children need you to be strong and you are. And you can continue to be! Keep on keeping on!!!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
5'9" and 120 lbs.? you could model! your weight gain is probably muscle. it's heavier than fat. you sound as if you're in great shape. glad you're getting your confidence back!
Ha, ha... the weight gain is actually because I started eating again. I still don't eat a ton but when I found out about H's PA I couldn't eat anything for days. I looked ill. I didn't realize it until I had my picture taken with my sweet niece and when I looked at the picture more closely, I felt like I didn't recognize myself anymore.
So it kinda bugs that H thinks I look skinnier because my focus has been to gain weight and start looking healthy again. But whatev.
I called a L today to find out exactly how much it was going to be to file. $750. Which may be totally doable for me. (My mom may just help me out for the time being and then I'd pay her back if I end up getting a job or with any photography jobs that I get.) He was very helpful.
I then called H because I have no money and I had no idea if he was going to transfer money into my acct or not. So I asked him what his plans were moneywise. He said he was just trying to save up enough money to pay the guys he has coming over to the house to fix things.
He was VERY nice to me. He kept saying, how much do you need? I didn't really know and I felt bad. I was literally on the verge of telling him that I'm filing for D but when he's so nice to me its hard for me to go in that direction. How is this the same man that's sleeping with another woman?? I seriously do not understand how he can be so nice to me and give me money and act like nothing's wrong between us and then just continue on like he is.
We had some pauses in our conversation and I was kind of allowing it to see if he would bring anything up, but he didn't. He just asked questions about paying the bills since I was the one that used to do it all. I was happy and friendly throughout our conversation and I was the first to end it.
He kills me. I really had no idea how much I would fall for this man when I first met him in High School. It's so crazy to think back on those days and how innocent and naive we were.
Life goes on.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
My kids told me tonight that they've seen my H kiss OW. I asked them how that made them feel. They said, sad. I told them that this is not what married people do. I don't want them to grow up thinking that this is ok and normal just because H is doing it openly for everyone to see.
I am soooooo angry right now!! I want to call him and scream at him.
I sound absolutely insane, don't I? I do not know how to "act as if" when this is so seriously wrong!!
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
Talk some sense into me... I am at my wits end....
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
