I can empathize with your W. Dealing with a crazy X and child issues can be a huge strain. And while you WANT to understand and you WANT to accept, sometimes you also WANT to be the priority in your SO's life. Even if it is only for a few hours. And you also want to feel that your children are as important to your SO as his are to him.
Your honeymoon, was probably one of those times.
Her children having a good relationship with their Dad doesn't let you off of the hook from trying to form a good relationship with them either. It might not be a "father" role but you are her H and a male presence in their lives. Taking that more seriously in the future is very important.
I want to caution you about expectations. I see that you seem to have huge expectations regarding you winning custody and how that will affect your M. Right now, I would let those go. Just because you obtain full custody (and I hope that you do), it isn't going to make your X go away. She will still be able to crazy make if you allow her to. And I think your W is afraid of that. And I don't know if I think you having full custody is going to make her change her mind. She may view the situation differently and watch to see what actually happens, but it isn't going to be the miracle that you are looking for.
WHY?
Because there are no "magic bullets" around here. There are no tricks, no "if I just do this it will work" answers.
This takes work. This takes committment. This takes time and patience.
Originally Posted By: Tinman
I have showered her with love and done everything possible to help her and to be kind to her but she says she feels like we are not equals. She said that she wants someone to be strong and be an equal partner in the marriage. It’s so hard to hear things like that when you are putting your own feelings aside and trying to make sure your once partner has everything they need.
This stood out to me from your first post.
While it is important for a man to make the female in his life feel important, he also needs to be strong. Self assured. Confident. Not iron fisted or controlling, but in control. Women look for that in men whether they are consciously aware of it or not.
You have a few men with those qualities posting on your thread right now. Mach1, Truegritter...
Listen to them.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
