Helpful resources for separation decisions?

[adinva]

I worry most about the financial separation. We've been intertwined almost our entire adult lives. I don't have anything that's not his and vice versa. So I believe he thinks we split 50/50 and move along.

I also know that H believes he knows enough on any subject not to need anyone's help. So he's confident that with his own financial expertise and his brother as a lawyer we can do this on the cheap.

I want to go in with my own information and my own opinions:

1) what are the ramifications of keeping the house or selling the house? We can afford to keep paying the mortgage, but should he continue to own half? Should I try to buy him out? I read that in a typical D the wife wants the house and the H wants the retirement account, and the H ends up much better off. I'm not looking here for this type of advice, I'm looking for advice on how to get the best advice.

2) I understand if you get a financial settlement you need to figure 30% of it will go to taxes. Maybe there are ways to structure things to save your money...

3) How do I set up my own money after this to make the most of it and allow me to rebuild my life? I will need help investing and budgeting.

The lawyer's not equipped to advice me on this. The independent financial advisor I talked with first, I don't meet her minimums. The collaborative process seems to add a lot more - counseling, another lawyer, I don't know if we spend that $20K if we'll end up with anything more than peace of mind and $13K less money than if we did simple mediation.

I have a call lined up with a financial person who mainly does marriage and divorce work, but she charges $250 for the consultation (which can be applied toward her fees if I hire her).

I met a registered investment advisor at an expo and could do a free consultation with him. He'd be more along the lines of providing recommendations through the D and investment support on an ongoing basis.

I already recognized the need for IC and a lawyer. But I really feel like I need financial support too. That could be a recommended book at the very least, if anyone here read one that helped them.