Thanks all for your prayers and good wishes. I have not been up to much chatting or posting today. Still no word from H. I did e-mail my lawyer to ask for another continuance and told her I'd call her on Monday.
Other than that, I've kept busy in the garden and ice skating with my daughter. Weeding is a great exercise...
I'll catch up with everybody's posts another day. I am sorry but I do not have much energy right now... and my little one needs all that I have left.
As Suki reminded me, it is like Tennyson once said, "I must lose myself in action, lest I wither in despair." And I cannot afford to despair...
Luckily there are lots of weeds in my yard...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
I really had to steal this, Acorn. I do not agree with absolutely everything it says, but it has many thoughts that are important to me at this particular time...
Hickory's post as commented by Acorn (a.k.a. the all terrain version for people from all spiritual convictions)
Quote: This is a post from Hickory on MLC. Thank you Hickory for taking the time to post all this... It gave a clearer shape to thoughts I've been having about how we can best love and respect each other as imperfect humans. When I read it, I strip out the God bits, but that is just me. I have often wished I had the faith that would let me genuinely believe in a higher power that would "complete me." I respect those who do. For those who don't, I've put my little mental commentary in red... I hope it is not too distracting, because I think this is really good stuff. For a smoother read without my personal interjections, see Hickory's Original Post ...
"Imitating God Respecting each other as flawed humans engaged in a process of growth means that in relationships we are to be kind, tenderhearted, empathetic, discerning, willing to make allowance for peoples mistakes, and consistently forgiving. It means we want good for them. We're gentle toward them even when our needs don't get met or when we're angry. That's when we go back to square one and forgive them. We let them off the hook. Why? Because we're superstars or spiritual giants? No, we forgive them because we are all at different places on the road to becoming the best people we can be. We forgive them for transversing ground we already covered, or taking a different route to where we are, or even for being ahead of us, though our perspective may trick us into thinking they are behind us. No, we forgive because we realize we must pass on to others what God has given to us. We who have been freely forgiven must, in turn, freely forgive. That is how we imitate God.
God loves you and me but Each person deserves compassion not because of anything we've ever done. God cares for us, delights in us. God is for us because that is his nature. Our humanity makes us deserving of love, no matter how lost we may be. When the Bible speaks of love, it is describing an approach to others that has practically nothing to do with chemistry. God's Word never discounts feelings but it clearly defines love as having much more to do with character and action than feelings. Feelings may guide our actions, and make them more meaningful, but in the end how we actually treat others matters. They cannot feel our feelings directly, but only through how we interact with them. In other words genuine love causes us to do things that have little or no good feelings necessarily attached to them. Sometimes.... Here I'm more inclined to think about the importance of detachment to really treating others with compassion. Ultimately, Jesus allowed himself to be nailed to a cross out of love for us, not because it felt good. A beautiful, moving act, but I do not think that love requires us to sacrifice ourselves. Sometimes, though, perhaps such actions are a way of respecting ourselves through respecting our compassion for others. We can spend a lifetime discovering the truth behind the simple thought in John 4:19 "We love because He first loved us." To learn to love we must be loved.
Our problem however is that loving isn't easy. You and I simply don't have the power to always forgive or be consistently kind. Our love, strength, will and understanding don't stretch that far. WE don't have the power to love this way unless we are so filled with God's love are gentle enough, compassionate enough, good enough, and forgiving enough towards ourselves that we recognize that our deepest needs have already been met, and we're no longer expecting another human being to "complete" us. yes! It boils down to this...We will not be able to imitate God in our love for truly offer free, nurturing, warming unselfish love to others unless we know that we are blessed, valuable, and significant - that we are loved. Our sense of being loved must not depend on this person liking us or that person coming through for us... yes! You and I are not just "okay". In Christ, As humans striving to treat each other well while working through our own pain, making our own mistakes, as feeling, thinking, flawed, concerned, caring individuals we are wonderful, significant, valuable, dearly loved and the objects of God's deserving of infinite and unconditional affection. The God who made us and loves us tells us Our best selves tell us to live and love like he sees us and like he loves us. This is why the idea that having a great relationship is all about finding the right person is a lie. The key to developing a great relationship is becoming the right person. yes!!!
If you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you've done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete the hole in your heart and the lack of what you don't have. That relationship will end in disaster. So yes!!! Enmeshment, entanglement, depending on another to make you happy, trying to control their world rather than making your own a place that is good for you... these squash love.
The world says "set your hope on this person to come through for you. Make this person the center of your existence." This was so true for me. And I think for many others too, especially women. We are taught that this is what love is. Detachment feels like a betrayal of love. But it isn't, I think. Making your life about someone else... It doesn't work; the problem is that person is weak, imperfect and needy - just like you and me. Ah we are... but suppose we weren't, suppose we were perfect... then what would love mean? why would it matter? we do not need compassion/forgiveness/love in the absence of pain/hurt/anger That person is going to blow it, right? It hurts, so what do we do? We retaliate, or we manipulate or we blame. Yes, when we have made our lives about another, then their actions affect who we are. Until we become fully our own selves, what we see as another's failings hurt us because they become about us. This prevents us from really caring and appreciating others in themselves. Because the world teaches us to expect from others what God alone can give us we can only give ourselves , we are unable to appreciate the very real (though limited) wonders of human love." But, the world has more lessons to offer: We can learn to become increasingly whole on our own, and increasingly capable of appreciating, giving, and receiving those necessarily limited wonders of human love. To me, its limits make it important, valuable, and beautiful.
Had to share these few pages with you here on the bb. thank you thank you thank you!
Keep the faith - Hic
Keep faith in yourself and in the goodness of others - Acorn
