from the WAS to being walked away on

[strongerthanever]

25,

I am seeing a pattern that I'm not sure how to respond to in the future. He likes to hug/flirt with me when we meet to exchange the children. At first, I was open to it. I figured it was his way to feel me out, and then as expected would go dark again. He has gotten progressivly more touchy feely/flirty.

DB defies logic, and my "same" was always being avalible to him. He has never felt my absence. And I know true 180s often make you uncomfortable.

So now I'm thinking that I should avoid placing myself in a position where he can get physical with me. And if he does try, to politly tell him that it is not appropiate. Thoughts?

A hugs part of my gut tells me that he will continue to flip flop between ow and myself as long as he believes that the m is still there, waiting. That he will not realize the finality of things until he is left alone to face them.

I know that in order for this to happen it will take months of being completly dark. I have not made contact in about 6 weeks, but have not been disciplined in the area of physical contact. I am going to go back to have him drop of d2/3 at daycare and I'll just pick them up from daycare. That's how things had been but once I started to refrain from contacting him he switched to face/face drop offs. I think it was his way of being able to see me and feel out my emotonial status.

And yes, I have decided that even if he keeps the nice clothes I have bought them, I will still dress them nice on the days I know h will be picking them up. I will not comment about the clothes should he keep them, they can easily be replaced. By making this small change I hope to stop some of the score keeping and trust issues. It's small, but a baby step for sure.

The no physical contact thing is more for me than anything. I have more and more moments of contempment and honest happiness, but I would be lying if I said that I have comletly dropped the no expectation thing. Detaching and gal are still big things for me, although I do see great improvement.

goals for h and I right now? geeze I don't even know. Goals for me? Totaly knocking them out. And yes, our sitch has been fairly quick as ow just entered the picture 4 months ago. So no, I don't think there has been enough time for ANYTHING yet. And yes, I have been looking at things with a microscope. I guess bc I find myself thinking about it a lot. I'm getting better at it though.