GridLocked

[MrD]

I'm still on the fence on how I can afford to move out and give W the seperation.
I can do it without child expenses and groceries and utilities.
But I'm not comfortable with that.

[labug]

Do you want to move from your home?

[MrD]

Do you want to move from your home?

Do you want to move from your home?

No,
But I need to detach and GAL. It's impossible to live together but acting separated.

[MrD]

I might have made a mistake this morning of mentioning to W my plan to move out soon, but not able to support W and limited child support. That made her angry I could tell easily but mentioned this was her choice and went to sleep.
This evening I'm looking to continue the conversation a little more reasonable, but she is at a church class on "how to have a new child by friday"
Any thoughts?

[MrD]

W came home a bit ago and we talked more about the seperation and the townhome I was looking at. I mentioned that until I got moved in and supplied with amenities, I wouldn't know what the support amount would be for S7 and S12.

I did tell her at the new job I'd still have W and S7&S12 medically covered and claim them on my taxes.
W stated that she's still looking for a job.
Furniture has still to be discussed, and that's a big expense too.
Any help someone?

[labug]

It seems you're saying you can't afford to move out and continue to financially support your family

And you W doesn't have a job if I'm reading correctly.

It seems your plan is meant to fail unless there's more that you aren't telling.

Can your W move somewhere?

[labug]

I just read back through your first thread and you got a lot of good advice but are still stuck in the same place.

This is work, you have to work on yourself change your attitudes, your thoughts. No one can help you do that.

You aren't moving forward because you don't know where you want to go.

Think about the man you want to be and start working to become that.

What kind of man to you want to be?

[MrD]

It seems you're saying you can't afford to move out and continue to financially support your family

And you W doesn't have a job if I'm reading correctly.

It seems your plan is meant to fail unless there's more that you aren't telling.

Can your W move somewhere?

That is correct. The problem is the MIL is paying the mortgage.

[MrBond]

The point is that your wife continues to not have any hardships based on her choices. You're paying for everything while she ran around with another guy. Your MIL pays for the mortgage, she really doesn't have to do anything.

If you are adamant about moving out, I would suggest you give her a date, so she knows she has to find a job by then. Then tell her that you will be cancelling her insurance but will keep the kids on yours. She's not your problem any more. And besides, you need the money for your rent.

Also, I would suggest that you talk to your kids. Ask them how they feel. Just because your W is rug-sweeping doesn't mean that you should too.

She needs that dose of reality.

[MrD]

I just read back through your first thread and you got a lot of good advice but are still stuck in the same place.


You aren't moving forward because you don't know where you want to go.

Think about the man you want to be and start working to become that.

What kind of man to you want to be?

I always was faithfull and loving to the family but did't give the W enough emotional support and the boys enough time.
But now with the seperation, it's the two things I'm unable to give if I move out.