Fair enough BKlyn! wink

It's just not Vero's place to teach her husband that lesson. If he decides to proceed with the D, life will teach him that.

I guess I'm just to the point where my marriage isn't my focus, I am.

And if me choosing to love my wife does NOT bring me closer to R, so be it.

If choosing to hold my head high and being loving to others does NOT bring me closer to R, so be it.

And for me that is detachment.. much more so than not communicating with her.

But my more important point here was the kids. They are the ones that don't have a choice here.

They have to suffer the consequences if Dad wants to leave.

They have to suffer the consequences if Mom needs to detach.

If Vero makes that choice to stop the visitation, I can certainly understand it because I too needed the space to get away from the coaster....

..but I still can't say that it was the "right" choice. Although I have learned from it.. there has also been consequences to it.

I am a firm believer that nothing bad every comes from showing grace and love.. even if WE never see the positive.

It's a kinda crazy, not very popular belief.. but I live my life by it and it has never steered me wrong throughout my separation....

....when I'm not stubborn enough to ignore it... lol.

M(f): 43
D'ed: 8/12

Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.

Love at all costs because you are loved well.