TIME for a change

[Broken74]

Thanks Brit and Valeska, I appreciate your feedback!

Brit,

I really don't think I'm angry, not toward my wife or anyone at this point really. Not even the OM, when it started out he was trying to get some loving just like any other guy. If it wasn't him would've been some other bloke I guess.

I wish I was more like you because you're one of the folks out here who seems to "get it", unlike myself...

I see your point, I am going to try to show concern with no agenda. For example just texted her saying "Hope you are feeling better, how are you and <sister> doing?" No response but I showed genuine concern without pursuit hopefully. I see your point that I can't just "run away", but that flies in the face of LRT/going dark which is where I seemingly need to be.

I hope she doesn't feel that way, as I haven't said anything remotely non-nice since March, which was the last time I got spun up when we were talking. I'm going to take your advice going forward. Don't think I'll be able to validate anything related to the OM though, that would certainly come off as fake without question. If she is still involved with OM on 8/27, she will have a divorce decree with my signature on it to execute, that is my final boundary. Nothing mean about it, I fully expect this to happen at this point.

On your last point, that certainly isn't my primary concern. I can't do anything about how she is feeling or her recovery since she wants nothing to do with me. My point is, that this new scenario in my sitch is not going to help, it is only going to throw further variables in play and make things more difficult as related to my reconciliation hopes. That is my point here. I empathize with her and wish there was something I could do to help, but I can't because she isn't interested in my help or compassion I guess.

Valeska, thank you also.

I am really trying to just do things for her, a byproduct of these however is that I somehow seem to have to be involved. I really don't have any expectations of anything that I do. The only logical expectation that I have is that I expect we will be getting divorced.

Unconditional Love for my wife to me would look like anything I can do to make her happy or her life easier. That is the type thing I have been doing. Unfortunately since we don't really communicate my only avenue to do that is to try and help her financially. I don't know what else to do.

On a side note, my considering filing on the eligible date was brought up as an idea by DB coach Cheryl whom I have spoken with 3 times. She had noted that if the sitch doesn't change that could be a final indicator of my ability/readiness to move on. I know that some people have carried on this battles for years and eventually reconciled. I also know some WAS/MLC have had to become divorced before seeing the light and wanting to work on things. Since "that" marriage is obviously over I am trying to look at the whole final divorce action as a paper exercise anyway, since that's all it is.

Thanks again for you guys feedback, I appreciate yours and any other opinions. Good luck to all in your respective sitch's!